it's 2012. and Friday the 13th.

it's been two years already since we first became Form 5 seniors. being the ones staying behind at the old school, Hani and I, and some others as well, have been very much missing all the moments lost in time. we carry out the usual routine of a secondary student; iron school clothes, organise textbooks, get up early in the morning, put on our uniforms and we still do homework. for some, it is called assignments or tutorials. all these actions really bring up memories more than one could hope for, and it is both sweet and painfully nostalgic at the same time.

i walk through the front gate and see juniors resembling each and everyone of my classmates. i look forward, and i see Brandon. i turn around, and i see Mahathir. i turn the other side and i see someone else. the resemblance is not from the looks, but rather the likeliness, composure, countenance, or the air which they walk in. forgive me for being quite emotional, but at moments like this, i feel like i was willing to do anything just to go back to the times when we were Form 5. i wanted to relive those days of having fun in class, still wearing uniforms. holding back the tears was absolutely necessary. i'm not popular and i don't consider myself to have many friends, but i do have some that i hold dear, though they themselves do not know it, and i do have some that i don't often talk to, but i know them well enough to consider them as acquaintances. anyway i'm just saying. i don't know about you. i missed those days, though i have no regrets. i have not been able to fully grasp the reality that by next year, we're all turning 20 years old and about to leave this youthful vigour. we'll be on the verge of adulthood and we have to be all serious and can't play around as much anymore. our paths will deviate further, and our future may and may not include each other. by 2013, we'd be one year closer to be legally authorized to vote in the election. personally, seeing the figures makes me feel old, and i'm just not ready to accept the harsh fact just yet. some of us might already have the guts to accept it, but not me. at least not yet.

well you may not care about this gibberish, about all of these intense reminiscence stuff, about old years or about how i was involved in your life in any way... this is me saying that i sincerely appreciate all of you who has ever walked in the course of mine. i'm sure you won't realise this, but i am thankful to be a part of an amazing class. i wouldn't have it in any other way. staying back at school and joining Form 6, walking past the buildings and seeing the classrooms, all this has really made me miss you all more than i want to. your shadows are engraved in these walls, and it proves to be quite distracting at times.

so Happy New year, and a Chinese New Year too.

"All that is gold does not glitter
Not all those who wander are lost."

~ J.R.R Tolkien.








mimi